The Tension Where Truth Lives

The Weight Between Words With Pastor Charles Howse

The Tension of a Silent Preacher

There’s a tension I’m sitting with today…
and I don’t want to rush past it…
explain it away…
or spiritualize myself out of it.

I’m a preacher.
And there’s a part of me—an older reflex—that believes silence is failure.

For years, I treated every crisis as my responsibility
and every moment as my assignment.

I reached for Scripture—
How can they hear without a preacher?

And I used it to sanctify urgency,
confuse reaction with obedience,
and speak when I had not been sent.

In doing so,
I mistook noise for faithfulness.

That reflex still lives in me.
It tightens my chest when the ground shakes.
It whispers that restraint is neglect
and quiet is cowardice.

But today…
I’m learning to listen more carefully.

There is a difference between being called to preach
and being compelled to react.
Between responsibility
and reflex.

Not every moment that demands a response
has been entrusted to my voice.

Some moments test whether I can remain governed
when noise would be easier.
Some moments ask whether I trust that God is still at work
even when I am not speaking.

Jesus did not speak to every injustice He encountered.
Sometimes He withdrew.
Sometimes He waited.
Sometimes He said nothing at all.

And His silence was not absence.
It was authority under restraint.

That’s the tension I’m holding today.

I still believe in proclamation.
I still believe in truth spoken clearly and courageously.
I still believe there are moments that demand a voice.

But I’m learning that discernment is not disobedience…
and restraint is not retreat.

Sometimes faithfulness sounds like speaking.
And sometimes it looks like staying still long enough
to make sure the words, when they come,
carry weight instead of heat.

Today, I’m choosing silence—not to avoid the moment…
but to honor it.

And I trust that when God does say now…
the voice shaped in the quiet
will know exactly what to say.

Thetensionwheretruthlives.org
Pastor Charles E. Howse Jr
Beth-El Baptist Church
Loving The Unlovable:A Love Without Limits
Charles Howse
Wholeness 4 LIFE

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Pastor Charles Howse Jr
Pastor Charles E. Howse Jr. is a preacher, pastor, and author whose calling lives at the intersection of proclamation and reflection. With decades of ministry experience, he has spent his life speaking to the visible struggles of people while gently naming the quieter battles they carry within. His voice is shaped by Scripture, lived experience, and a deep pastoral concern for those navigating faith, failure, leadership, and the long work of healing. Whether from the pulpit or the page, his work consistently points readers and listeners back to the grace of God that meets us where we truly are. Through writing, Pastor Howse explores the tension where truth lives—the space between certainty and doubt, strength and vulnerability, public faith and private wrestlings. His reflections draw from biblical narratives, personal insight, and pastoral observation, inviting readers to slow down,and think deeply. He writes not to perform, but to bear witness—to grace that restores, love that endures, and a God who remains faithful even when we falter. This blog is an extension of that calling: honest, thoughtful, and rooted in the hope that truth still heals.

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